Madison County [2011]

A group of college kids take a trip down to Madison County to interview an author who wrote about a bunch of grizzly murders that happened in town. When they arrived and started asking the town folk about the author the town folk say he’s been gone for years now, and the murders he wrote about never happened. Not sounding so convincing the group decides to spread out to go look for some answers and maybe some truth to those vicious tales.

The film was shot during the day, so that was an interesting touch. The kids find themselves stuck in some hillbilly hell, with someone wearing a pig mask trying to kill them. The film gets quite repetitive when it comes to the teens running in circles and ending up in the same place.

The characters were your typical generic characters in a slasher film, there is no real originality her either. Other than a whole town attempting to cover up things that really happen the town folk are useless hillbillies that attempt to scare the visiting teens. The weapons used range from a kitchen knife to a shovel, there isn’t too much to dive into regarding Madison County.

You can give it a watch if there isn’t anything else on or around, but some parts of the film really tend to drag. The suspense was mild, the gore was mild, and it was a below average film.

3.5/10 rotting corpses
C Vengeance

Strippers vs Zombies [2012]

A werewolf dies in a strip club and it’s up to the strippers to prepare themselves for the next full moon and get ready for the werewolves that will seek out vengeance.

The cast is pretty decent with a few known actors/actresses including a cameo from Robert Englund, but his is very short. There’s some ‘battle scenes’ but they aren’t as lengthy as they could be. Considering the casting the acting doesn’t live up to anything special.

The plot lacks direction due to many subplots during the film, but is it enjoyable? Yes. Is it funny? For the most part. Strippers vs Werewolves is as serious as the title is. The ending was fun though, plenty of babes, some bad jokes which makes it even funnier, and an overall decent watch to kill some time. It does have moments when it picks up, some parts did tend to drag.

5/10 rotting corpses
C Vengeance

Butchered (2010)
10/14/12 review

A group of teenagers decide to go to a desolate island to party it up, all while an escaped prisoner is on the loose and turns up in the EXACT island that these teens are in. The prisoner is a serial killer who uses an axe to hack away on his victims.

The beginning of the film was pretty intense, a nice montage of bloody goodness. Then it pretty much goes downhill from there. I won’t bore you with plot lines or characters because none of them actually matter.

You have all of your basic necessities for your slasher film, teens partying, getting naked, and separating from each other to go do whatever it is they wanna do. And one by one they meet their untimely fate, or in a few cases two of them at the same time.

Normally I’m all for these type of movies, but can someone please tell me where the fuck did all the blood go in horror movies went?! The killer picks them off and seems invincible, he doesn’t speak much, and really doesn’t bring anything creative with him.

There’s dumb scenes up the ass in this flick, from horrible dialogue, to some really dumb looking scene (axe to the gut, little bit of blood), or how someone can get an axe thrown at them, then a few minutes later he’s still running around.

This movie wasn’t fun, a few nude scenes, no real kill scenes that are worth anything, and there were no advancements to the plot or the killers.

This movie isn’t even worth the time, about 70 minutes long, and slacking on every aspect. A lot of potential but it falls flat.

2/10 rotting corpses
C. Vengeance

The Tall Man (2012)
10/12/12 review*

The Tall Man, brought to you by the dude who directed Martyrs! First and foremost, this really isn’t a horror flick. Plenty of scary undertones, but this film should fall under a thriller at best. Now that’s not saying there’s nothing creepy in this film, because there’s definitely some good moments.

People of Cold Rock have been feeling down, and why shouldn’t they? After all, all the children in the town have gone missing, or been “kidnapped” as the locals believe. To make matters worse, there’s a myth, a legend, of a man, who might be the reason behind these kidnappings. Who is he? The towns folk call him the Tall Man.

Julia, the town nurse who lost her husband, the town doctor, a few years back, has her son hidden at home to protect him from the outside dangers. She soon becomes victim herself as the tall man takes her kid. She doesn’t become one of the other parents, she runs after the tall man, does her best to catch up to him and falls short. After this, the film gets flipped upside down. With more twists than you can imagine.

The film is shot amazingly, the setting fits perfectly, and Jessica Biel comes out swinging in this role. The first half of this film is very suspenseful, and the second half of the movies plays off as a mystery, but with a few dull scenes. When things start to unfold it becomes a guess who game, and the plot continued to unfold until the end.

This flick was an awesome thriller, the plot was presented in good fashion, and this was probably one of the more original movies I’ve seen recently.

I was expecting this to be a horror flick, although it isn’t, I definitely wasn’t upset after watching. But if you want a horror movie I suggest looking for something else. Same goes of you’re looking for something like Martyrs.

The acting was great, Jessica Biel killed it. The setting was awesome, and overall, after going in with 0 expectations I was pleasantly surprised. The only thing I would knock down would be the few scenes that I thought dragged out for a lot longer than needed. Another thing is, once everything fell together you can pretty much tie it from there.

Give this a watch, and hide you children. Because you might suck as a parent and have the tall man snatch them up.

7.5/10 rotting corpses
C. Vengeance

Bloodlust Zombies (2011)
10/13/12 review

An accidental spill in a weapons manufacturing building causes the alarm to go off, which locks whoever is in the building inside until it overrides.

The thing that was spilled was a chemical weapon that causes those infected by it to become bloodthirsty killers. Sounds decent right? That’s pretty much where it ends.

The acting was horrible, unfortunately a porn star wasn’t enough to save this flick. The zombies were worthless, they look horrible, and the blood seems so minimal. Nothing really happens besides some sex, and people chasing around other people.

Even for a bad movie this wasn’t as enjoyable as I wanted it to be. The whole thing was pretty dull, really lacked good looking zombies, lacked good zombie attacks, the acting was just as bad as the dialogue between everyone.

2/10 rotting corpses
C. Vengeance

Bikini Girls On Ice

10/11/12

A group of girls get stuck in front of a gas station on their way to a car wash. The gas station employee, Moe, is a quiet, tall dude, who likes to keep dead bodies in a freezer filled with ice (title).

It’s a typical slasher, but not delivered in your typical slasher fashion. A local pulls up to the bikini babes and tells them about a killer, they laugh it off and gives them some change for looking pretty. Then they start disappearing one by one.

There’s hardly any blood or gore in this flick, there’s no nudity except for one scene, and the film is lacking something in almost every category. There’s no plot point at all, why are they getting killed? I don’t know. Why is he throwing bodies in the freezer? I don’t know. There’s no explanation on this dude whatsoever. He just seems angry for no reason, maybe he’s angry at gas prices? I don’t know. The killings are pretty boring too, nothing really stood out and they were all done quickly.

Another thing I don’t get is why they attempted (and failed) to make their own leather face type killer. He never speaks, and I’m okay with that but instead of speaking he grunts, growls, and makes real stupid sounds.

The movie was pretty fast paced, acting was horrible, and it could’ve use a better plot or just more blood. If you want a slasher that’ll keep you interested for a while you might wanna look elsewhere. This film lacks more than it gives.

2.5/10 rotting corpses
C. Vengeance

The Woman In Black [2012]
10/5/12 

The Woman In Black is a ghost story about a woman [she wears black] that is said  to haunt a local village. If anyone sees the woman in black she will take the life of a child, since her child went missing and was never found she haunts the village by taking the lives of children so everyone else can feel her pain.

Arthur, a lawyer must leave his son behind so he can travel a few cities over to file paper work for some deceased woman. When he arrives the town folk are everything but friendly, they tell him to leave and never come back. Arthur refuses and decides to stay, when he arrives at the woman’s house the fog is thick, and he can only be there for so long before the tide comes in.

Arthur starts hearing noises in the house and has even seen a woman. The next day the curse is proven once more as a child dies, the towns people look at Arthur as he’s to blame. Destined to find the truth behind the woman’s son, and the reason why children seem to die when this ghostly figure is seen.

The plot isn’t the most original for a ghost story, and the ghost looked laughable at times. There was a few scenes that turned out pretty well, seeing a ghostly woman in the back while a child dies has it’s eerie elements. What stood out for me in this was the way the film was shot, the location looked perfect, a shady house in a location with numerous graves, fog that seems never disappear, and a marsh that might have something more than mud in it. There were some decent scares in this one, but nothing that stood over the top.

The ending was almost a surprise but it was a little too happy for me. The CGI was tolerable, but the way the film was shot looked awesome. If you’re looking for a decent ghost flick definitely give this a try! Don’t expect anything crazy or anything new being brought to the table, but the movie is a solid watch. Some death scenes are better than others, nothing too gruesome though, sadly. There are a few cool ones, a triple suicide that gets the film rolling, and an awesome death involving fire. 

6/10 rotting corpses
C. Vengeance

LAKE MUNGO [2008]

10/4/12

Following the death of 16 year old Alice, who drowned, her family must face the struggles of trying to overcome the fact that she’s dead, and are faced with the thought that their house may be haunted by her.

The film is half interview, and half reenactments. I’ve heard a ton of good things regarding this flick, so needless to say I was really excited for it.

The family starts noticing strange occurrences in the house, the mother even goes as far as contacting a medium hoping to find out the truth about her daughter. As the family tries to get more answers about Alice they soon found out that Alice might have been living a secret life.

Other than a twist, and a little deception the film doesn’t have much to offer. I was reading on this before I even watched it, I saw reviews that were giving this a 10/10, 5/5, and so on, so forth. I don’t know how a film like this can be a 10/10, the film is definitely sad, and you do feel for the family. I was expecting some sort of ghost movie, not over an hour of people talking in front of a camera with a few flash backs.

The little twist was enough to keep me watching, but it wasn’t enough to tell everyone I know to check it out. The twist was awesome, but they never continued with it. Other than that the film seemed to drag, the characters were dull at times. The few things we learn about Alice are quite interesting, the main objective of the film wasn’t to scare anyone but to make the audience feel for the family. It certainly does that, although the delivery could have been a lot better.

A ghost is seen, but that becomes more of awhat the fuck…then an actual scare. If you want to watch a flick that will make you feel sorry for a family, and if you wanna see how a family goes through the mourning process then check this out. If you read the summary of this movie, you won’t be getting a ghost story.

5/10 rotting corpses
C Vengeance

Shark Night (2011)

10/2/12

Let’s keep these October reviews going!

I had a lot expectations going into this film. I wasn’t expecting something like jaws, but I was expecting some blood spilling fun.

A group of college kids head up to a quiet lake house in a quiet little town. Now I know we’ve all heard that one before, but let’s carry on… During a small pit stop they have a run in with some of the locals, not too bright, basically your stereotypical hick type in a horror flick.

When they finally get to the lake house they start having a good time, a few of them decide to go play in the water. Horrible idea though, since you know, the lake is filled with sharks.

I was hoping for nothing but shark attacks, and a lot of blood and gore. Instead the killing scenes seemed real half assed besides maybe 2-3 of them. Mostly red water and a lot of splashing, but the 2 or 3 of the better ones were pretty funny. The CGI sharks didn’t look perfect, they didn’t look horrible, but I’ve definitely seen a lot better.

The story as to how the sharks got there was interesting, but not interesting enough to make this movie stand out. The acting was subpar, the plot had a bunch of holes, and most importantly it really lacked a damn body count.

I’d seriously suggest almost anything on Syfy over this crap if you’re looking for a good bloody shark kill-fest.

The movie is worth a watch if you really wanna check it out. I was expecting something better, but the movie seemed empty. It was filled with a few plot holes, the ending could be predicted less than half way through. Oh, and I’m sorry folks, if you’re looking for some babes in bikinis look elsewhere.

3.5/10 rotting corpses
C. Vengeance

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

10/1/12

Let’s get October started!

In a sad turn of events when Dracula loses his wife he builds a hotel. Not just any hotel, a hotel hidden passed haunted forests, cemeteries, and other ghoulish obstacles. The hotel was built to protect his daughter Mavis, and the hotel also serves as a safe haven for other famous monsters to hide from the real monsters, humans.

As Mavis’ 118th birthday draws near Dracula invites all of his monster brethren to join the festivities. Everything goes according to plan until a human makes it to the hotel. Struck with panic Dracula does everything in his power to ensure his monster companions don’t notice a strange guest.

The film is a fun, light hearted watch, and the kids seem to love it. Based on the cast and writers I was expecting a little more wit, and a better overall plot. The monsters were played well, some better than others. Stand out characters: Dracula, Frank, and the Werewolf all made the movie worthwhile.

I only wish that if the point was to welcome kids into the world of monsters they would stick a little closer to their characteristics. The humor was there, but more geared towards children. Some adult jokes can be picked up which makes for a fun time.

The flick is a lot of fun, and will definitely get you more pumped up about Halloween coming.

7.5/10 baby coffins
C. Vengeance